Sabrina

Sabrina Marie Johnson was just a simple girl from the little town of Bevier, Mo. She grew up with a good Christian family that instilled good character and Christian morals in her. She is the oldest of her other two siblings, therefore she’s always had to be the one to take up more responsibilities in the household.



She enjoyed the little things in life. Blue jeans, a t-shirt, and cowgirl boots was her signature look. Her free time was spent working on her chevy pickup, and her 1100 shadow, her pride and joy. Well and before everything in her perfect life came crashing down, it was spending time with that special someone, after all he could do was just constantly consumes her thoughts.
It seemed like more and more it was getting harder to distract herself from his memory. She could still remember how he smelled and looked the last time she saw him. How he looked at her with that crooked smile and told her that he loved her. She knew he wasn’t lying, he was genuine about it. It made her heart beat more rapidly as she gazed into his eyes. She could feel the tears coming. This was bad, she didn’t like letting anyone see her cry, especially him. He always had a way of getting to her emotions, no matter how hard she tried denying it, he really did. He owned her heart. It was the inevitable. No matter how much she wished it wasn’t so, especially now, when he wasn’t with her. When it killed her that she couldn’t hold him, kiss him, or tell him how much she loved him.
That’s what growing up does to us though. It makes us get in touch with reality. Life can’t always be like it was in high school. You can’t always look to your parents for help and to do everything for you. We have to do things on our own now, for ourselves. That’s what he did. He’s pursued his dream. And this dream took him to New York. XXX miles away from her. But she couldn’t keep him from leaving; she’d hate herself if she did. He had to go, she had no choice. Even though he gave her the choice, she knew it wasn’t hers to make. Even though with every inch of her being she wanted to chase him down the driveway as he left on that rainy Tuesday afternoon in the middle of may, and tell him that she didn’t want him to leave, that their love for each other would be enough to keep them both happy, but she knew deep down that he would never be as happy if he didn’t leave. So she watched as he drove off in his blue chevy pickup, as her world slowly fell beneath her, until she could finally see him disappear into the horizon. At that moment she knew she would never be the same.
Days passed on. Then turned into months, and she still mourned at the loss of her one true love. She tried distracting herself in her school work. She was attending a college about an hour from her home town. But even her chemistry and psych classes weren’t enough to take her mind off of him. She still yearned for his touch, his smell, his smile. Then the pain became to unbearable. She couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t take the need to hold him not being fulfilled. She had to see him, had to feel his warmth, and look into those dark brown eyes and get that feeling of security that everything was ok when she was in his arms again. It was slowly killing her inside. She wasn’t happy, as much as she tried making herself move on she just couldn’t. That’s when she made an impulsive decision to go find him. She played their meeting in her head a million times. In her dreams she would run up to him, wrap her arms around him and tell him that she couldn’t live another day without him. Then he would look in her eyes and tell her that he had felt as much pain as she had in the past few months and would never leave her again. That everything would be ok now that they were together. That was in her better dreams. There were still the ones that didn’t have such great endings. In the worst of her nightmares about him, she would find him moved on with another girl, some would be of him on a date with a former girlfriend, others would be of him at parties with several girls, and the worst were the ones where he would be living with a new girl, completely in love, and totally oblivious to the existence of Sabrina. These were the vivid dreams. In these she could feel her heart literally breaking in her body. These dreams always made her wake up in a sweat, usually crying and shaking.
The following morning she bought her plane ticket to New York. The whole time wondering if she was making the right decision. I mean what if he didn’t love her anymore, what if he had moved on. She couldn’t think about that though. She went through with the plan. That night she packed up her things and went to bed early. Though she didn’t sleep at all, she laid there ready for the day to come.


by Samantha